Personal projects

17-18 May 2019 – Personal Development

These days I’ve attended yet another psychology conference on the topic of will and how music can influence our lives. I haven’t had much time to do anything else really; I spoke a lot with my partner, as we attend these meetigs together, we ate in town and overall felt exteaordinary. We managed to access a resource within ourselves that makes us feel complete. It’s a wonderful feeling! I will definitely use these things I learned in my future website/blog.

Have a nice day!


16 May – Chaotic Sleeping Schedule

I really messed up my sleeping schedule.. I don’ t really understand anything anymore in a day.. These past few days have been a combination of extreme enthusiasm and feeling very sick. At some point, I was so tired I couldn’t sleep and I just kept getting excited with very random ideas.. it seems that I get extremely creative when I know that I should fix my schedule.. I just don’t understand..

I helped my friend with those charts and statistics and I managed to get it into a semi-final state. It’s really nice to know that I did help her out – it makes me feel accountable, responsible and valued. I played with the dogs and talked to my partner and I slept most of the day, so I don’t really have anything more to log.

I hope you had a great day!

Goals · Personal projects

13 May 2019 – I did this.. It was me..

I woke up from a troubling dream. I decided to continue reading the book and I fell back asleep after some time. I had a horrible dream that really got to me. I had trouble waking up from what felt like a nightmare, but fortunately, 2 messages from my partner did the trick! I read some more, I fell back asleep, I talked to my sister a bit and finished the book! I watched an episode with my partner and then I decided to do a little introspection and possible forgiveness..

I wrote about an old friend that I used to have. I have been upset on her for something for over 9 years now! Finally writing about it, after all this time, I realized she might have probably been as confused as I was. I finally saw that I placed the seed of the troubling situation that came months later.. I am still shocked to see this… I held a grudge for so much time for nothing and I let that experience dictate so many of my actions throughout the years.. Seeing it crumble before my eyes filled me up with regret and the feeling of helplessness..

Today I learned to write down all the events involving the people that upset you and then decide if holding a grudge feels right.

You are a beautiful human being! Be proud of yourself today!

Food · Personal projects · Pets

12 May 2019 – Awesome Day

I woke up determined! I continued reading the last chapter of the book I’ve been struggling with the past month. It was a very informative book, unfortunately, it was a bit difficult to read – being packed with so many facts and details about studies on trauma. Finishing that chapter made me feel that I was on top of the world and nothing could ruin my day! I already had accomplished the biggest task of the day! I was so excited by this, that I managed to stay fueled by this positive energy throughout the day.

I randomly picked another book from the shelf – this is on a more spiritual matter. I cooked lunch and prepared dinner in advance; we ate and then I vacuumed the whole house. Being excited by the new topic, I started reading a bit and actually covered one third of the book in a setting. I spoke to my sister and I’ve been there to support her through this difficult period she is going through – being in the final year, with all the assignments, really makes an impact on her.. I think she is bravely handling all the stress thrown her way.

I tried to meditate a bit before going to bed. I succeeded to some extent, but I think I still have some improvements to make. I saw some images – something violent, with gun shots and my little pony friendship is magic characters in it.. It was a bit weird, but I couldn’t remember anything after getting conscious again. I had some chocolate afterwards and was compelled to eat and watch a my little pony friendship is magic episode. I went to bed and ended an awesome day with yet another chapter of the book.

The cat was particularly weird today.

I hope your day was awesome as well!

Personal projects

11 May 2019 – It all makes sense at the end of the day

I woke up from yet another intense dream – at least it was lighter than the ones days before. I went out and did some grocery shopping and I came home prepared to cook a wonderful meal! Things didn’t go as planned and I ended up eating what came to hand.. I spoke to my sister later in the day and I sat down, feeling pretty useless.. Sometimes I feel that I don’t have a purpose and nothing I do would satisfy me..

I tried playing several games, but ended up feeling even more empty inside.. I saw a painting I have started some time ago and something told me that I could give it a try.. I started painting over what it used to be and I just let the brush do it’s thing.. I combined different colors, I just randomly put colors on the canvas.. Ultimately, something started to resemble a real life scenery so I went with that. It really turned out great and I was amazed by the image I ended up with. I decided to put in additional details and make it even more beautiful. I actually created a wonderful painting! I looked out the window and realized it was already sunrise – somehow I worked 5 hours and a half.. I cleaned my utensils and I read a chapter from my current book and fell to sleep.

Have a nice day!


9-10 May 2019 – Confusing Times

I’ve been having really confusing dreams lately.. some of them affected my thinking throughout the day and some didn’t. Experiencing so many sensations through the night makes me tired.. Sometimes I feel that I’ve just had enough dreams of running, being chased, defending my life and avoid at all costs being hurt in a very action packed scenario.. maybe I don’t do much throughout the day, but hell! I really do run a lot and exercise intensely in my dreams.

Yesterday I had a wonderful day, full of joy and being open to my surroundings. I managed to do some introspection and heal a bit from one of my past relationships.. Today I woke up disgusted from the dream I had and I had a troubling day – I got angry and frustrated often. I spent some time with my partner and we had a really good time together. We also had a conflict later, but eventually everything got resolved.. I just can’t understand myself sometimes..

I hope your days were wonderful!