28 October 2019 – New Prospects

Today I tried something new – I talked to my aunt on messenger for a few hours. I really have ignored the extended family since my grandmother died and today I decided that needs to change. We had a heart to heart conversation that left us both satisfied. Meanwhile, I spent the time efficiently – I cooked chickpeas, a new batch of granola and the meal of the day. Afterwards I spent the evening with my sister and my partner. I finished the new project I got on Upwork and I found out that additional changes are not a priority right now, but they will contact me when they have additional work. This leaves space for a whole new adventure – I currently wonder what it will be.. Maybe a little code writing? Maybe the new website? Maybe the new restaurant? Maybe just making action plans. I will definitely continue the CBT course (as I did today). What does my future reserve? What will I make of it?

Today I learned that people can surprise me and that old relationships can get their spark lit back up with the right attitude. I am grateful for the connections of the day, for being pleased with myself, for living the life I want to live.

Have a wonderful day!

16 October 2019 – It’s Time To Face The Truth

Today I had a lovely morning with my partner – we chatted in bed for a while, we played with the dogs and got reminded of what a beautiful family we got. I went to bed afterwards due to the late night I spent working. I woke up from a deep sleep very satisfied. I had coffee, ate some leftover food, watched some motivational videos and played the daily solitaire challenge. I realized it has been a while since I last set some goals so I decided to do that, but in a different manner. I reviewed my past goals and checked some of them and this time I wrote them down as a story, in present tense. I wrote after them in which past events have I displayed the attitude to accomplish that – proof that I got the necessary resources to get what I want. I am extremely confident in the power these new goals have!

I continued the CBT course and after doing some reflective exercises where I got overwhelming insights, my partner got home. We went for a walk and bought sweets and chips. I had a very powerful anger outrage – at an intensity I’ve never experienced before.. I devoured 2 bags of chips and some chocolate while watching a movie – ‘A Monster Calls’. The movie eventually turned out to be about the grieving process and about recognizing the pain and guilt we feel to tell our truth while we go through difficult situations. Now searching it on imdb I see the description was there all along – a boy coping with his mother’s terminal illness, but Netflix put another description though. I cried a lot.. and this movie finally showed me it was about time to face my own truth.. My grandmother died 2 years ago and I lied to myself daily that it didn’t happen. I’ve been postponing facing this truth for so much time.. and it had great repercussions on me, when my partner’s grandparents died recently.. Today I finally had the strength to do something that was far overdue – to write a letter to my passed grandmother.. I finally confessed my feelings, I finally faced the truth.

Today I learned that sometimes things align in an unexpected way, to make us face reality and learn a lesson. My grandmother was the first person that passed that I really, deeply cared about. I’ve been in this long grief process along all the family.. I even think I am the first that actually faced my feelings.. It’s really hard to say goodbye.. I am grateful for being loved by my grandmother and by getting the opportunity to learn so many things from her. I am grateful for the space she gave me and how much she cared for me as a child. I am grateful for myself as well, for having the strength to finally write this down.

I wish you a day of insight. Take a moment to appreciate the dear ones you have around.

5 October 2019 – An Experience From Beyond

Today I attended the course and I identified and became aware of multiple thoughts that have a strong impact on my life and that lead me to dysfunctional behavior.

Afterwards we decided to stay a bit with one of our colleagues for a chat. He wanted to attend a Byzantine music international event and we decided to join him there. The whole experience left a strong impression on us – we lived the performance so much and actually had an out of body experience. We were surprised to see how much we appreciated the Gregorian choir that performed and the overwhelming feeling we had.

Today I learned that exposing yourself to new experiences can have an amazing impact in your life. I learned that I have been limiting myself for a lot of time. I am grateful now for being much more open minded and actually trying something new – at the assumed cost of it being uncomfortable.

I hope you had a good day!

26 September 2019 – The Drama Ends Eventually

This morning was full of drama – due to my upset father. We talked a bit with him, in his angry state and seemed that one of my messages got to him somehow, eventually.. After several hours of being in a constant state of panic, me and my sister eventually decided to let our father’s worries aside and actually get on with our day. We went shopping for household necessities and to grab some takeout. We are very worked up now at the end of the day – after all the emotional roller-coaster, the shopping and ordering.. Hopefully tomorrow the spirits are settled in and everything will be fine.

Today I learned how much progress I made this past year. I was able to handle the conversation with my father without making additional harm to the damaged relationship we already have.. I also learned that I can now recover by myself from panic attacks – which is truly life changing.

I am grateful for the maturity I showed today, for my supportive and loving sister, for the great time I had with her despite everything. I am grateful for the people I have in my life and the support I get when in need. ❤

Have a lovely day!

17 September 2019 – A day with hiccups

I normally have a great mood downfall after having a great day (just some hours or moments later after realizing the greatness of the day). Yesterday I was surprised to declare the day ‘a wonderful day’ and having suffered any of the normal raging repercussions.. Today things changed. I still had a great day, but at the end of it, when we were almost about to get home, my partner said something that really brought me off.. It seems that somehow the rage and destructive pattern hasn’t appeared when I was expecting it. It seems that it appears when I am not aware.. this is my poor conclusion after noticing one time beforehand. Still! It is a valuable observation. That will surely prove useful in the future.

Today was a great day overall – I managed to do the greatest task I’ve been postponing for weeks! *Washing the pets* – it always results in back ache due to the position I sit when washing them.. it’s always funny how I eventually wash the cat as well due to the little labor it would imply after having washed 3 dogs.. still the greatest achievement of the day! ❤

In rest, I went shopping for some shoes and groceries, had a meeting in town, had a walk with my partner, cooked the meal of the day, had coffee, watched some TED talks and documentaries, stretched and really had a good time! The food was tasty and looked wild!

I am grateful for everything that happened today, even my fight with my partner. I learned that I don’t feel safe in my relationship in certain moments – thing that wasn’t so obvious to me in the past. Now I know what I should be fixing and this gives me a great relief; plus the fact we actually managed to be vulnerable this time after the raging phase. Little steps – still progress. I am grateful for living in the moment and being true to myself. I want more of this peaceful and satisfying feeling.

Hope your day is going great!

16 September 2019 – A nice day to start again

Somehow, everything is about new beginnings.. I always seem to have this urge to start things again after a long period of having no idea what I’m doing.. I felt very contemplative the past few days and with a fresh batch of granola I feel capable of conquering the world again!

I had a productive day today – started out with some stretching, some introspection and a cup of coffee with my loyal cat! Figuring out in the morning what must, should, could and want to do seems to do wonders! It really puts me in a ‘call to action’ mood. I accomplished a lot of things the past days and the journey continues!

I had a long walk today with my partner. I even dressed up for the occasion as if we were on a date. We also served dinner together afterwards. We don’t do this very often and it really lifted my mood even further. I also forgot how tasty and satisfying home cooked meals are! ❤

I am grateful for this great day of tiny accomplishments and the beautiful mood. I felt so good just being myself in all forms and roles today!

I wish you a beautiful day!

11 July 2019 – A Day with Insights

I woke my sister in the morning and was prepared to have a wonderful day! I called her on Skype, we started chatting, she prepared a coffee for herself and theen.. my partner wanted to take the car and asked me if I wouldn’t drive him instead. I wanted to buy some food for myself from the city, so I had to cut the conversation short and drove my partner to town. I bought some fruits and some cooked meat, I got very annoyed due to 3 ladies that cut in line and got home still feeling upset. The day passed by very slowly; I wanted some company, but everybody was busy so I decided to continue to index the illnesses from that book. I got a message saying that the books I ordered were out of stock and I had to find an alternative solution.. I wrote yesterday’s blog post and I was surprised to see I wrote 200 posts! I browsed for my books and after a lot of searching, I found them and at a fair price. I ordered them and got a brilliant idea about a new side business that would really fulfil my needs.

I thought about names for the new domain, I managed to find one with the help of my sister and bought it. I went it through the whole process, I changed the hosting, I installed WordPress, I chose a theme, installed some plugins and started to view and think about ways to improve the chosen theme, to make it more customizable and be as I desire. It took me little time to visualize all this and put it together, which really shows me how far I’ve come and how many things I learned with my other website that I still haven’t launched because it wasn’t as perfect as I wanted it to be.. My partner got home and we spent some time together. Even if it was late, I went and prepared some food – I had planned to stay up late and work. Turns out I did, but not as planned. I called my sister while cooking and we spent 4 to 5 hours together.

We chatted until 00:00, I wished my sister a happy birthday, we danced to the song ‘Celebration’ for 4 minutes and then we started looking back at pictures from the last year. We spent 3 hours looking at pictures and we still haven’t covered more than 8 months – we only looked at the pictures that had our faces in them – CRAZY! We saw how much we bonded, how much we grew and how much we built on our relationship. It was overwhelming. We cut the conversation short – we had to close it abruptly because we couldn’t stop talking anymore! Sister, I thank you for all the time invested in our relationship and wish you to be as happy as possible. You have everything you need in your life and you are such an amazing and passionate person! My words will never sum up what you are and the love I feel for you.

I am grateful for my sister, for my relationships, for my ideas, for my passion, for the inspiration and insights I get.

Have a beautiful day! You are loved.

29-30 June 2019 – Adventure Time

As soon as I woke up I felt the need to walk a lot – I wanted to do something exciting, to explore somewhere with one of the dogs. I decided to ask my partner to join this time and I am very glad I did. The temperature was perfect for exploring, even in the mid of the day. We went to some random location nearby that seemed to have forests. We got there by car and we walked afterwards. We took Sheeba with us and let her run free – she kept 10 meters distance from us; her leash is 5 meters.. It was nice to see she walked with us and was really listening to our commands. We passed by some really difficult areas – full of slippery mud and she trusted us enough to follow on our footsteps. We climbed a hill in the forest and found a place in the sun to sit and have a snack. We laid down in the grass and just listened to the nature surrounding us. It was really beautiful. I felt charged with energy and peaceful to my core. When we got back, we didn’t bother anymore with the dog – she was already dirty, so we let her run wild. We got home and we were peaceful for a while.

Late in the evening I got in a stupid fight with my partner that caused me to get out of the house alone and walk in the night to a random place.. I walked 2 or 3 km away and sat in the grass on a pathway. I laid down and looked at the stars in the sky and got reminded of just how beautiful life can be despite all the problems we have in our life. I sat there a while, in a meditative state and just looked at the sky. After calming down, I went back home, running and walking intermittently. I got home – I felt that I would pass out due to lack of energy. I made peace with my partner and went to bed.

Next day I slept more than half of the day – the walking really took a lot out of me. After waking up, I spoke a bit with my sister, I read a bit, meditated, fell back asleep, had a dream where I felt super guilty towards my partner, woke up, talked with my partner – to release any leftover confusion and the guilt I felt in real life.. We spent a lot of time together, we cleaned the house a bit, went out and grabbed something to eat, followed by a long one hour walk. It was a nice bonding experience and I feel that somehow it brought us closer together. We got home and I decided to study a bit – I started to write down some of the things I read, to put them in my mind through some other form – select only the ideas I find important or applicable to me. I meditated a bit afterwards and went to bed. This was a pleasant day.

I am grateful for all the excitement I have in my life, for the adventures, for the well educated dogs, for the bond with my partner and with my sister, for the access to these beautiful scenery, for living in the moment, in presence.

Have a beautiful day!

28 June 2019 – Time for some rest

I slept a lot last night. My sister called me in the morning and woke me up; I had a meeting in town and she wanted to spend some time together before going. I went in town and had a very valuable discussion that helped me understand myself and my actions better. I met with my partner and picked up the carpets from the cleaners and had lunch together in town. I got home, took the dogs for a brief walk and went straight to bed. I read a chapter from a book and took the most satisfying long nap. I woke up and spent some time with the part er and dogs – just hanging around. We went out and bought a lot of cake. Afterwards, I spoke to my sister and we worked together – I wrote down some important passages from a book and she studied for the exams she’s about to have next week.

I am grateful for the connections I have with the people in my life, for the beauty I see in my dogs and in the people around, for the patience I had, for how I responded to my body’s needs and for the information I learned.

I wish you a beautiful day!

21 June 2019 – No photo Friday

Today I woke up early and implemented some of the things I learned in the course yesterday. I started exercising first thing after waking up – it was wonderful. I did my homework afterwards and got myself ready for the course from today. These courses I attend last the whole weekend 8.5 hours every day. I basically went to the course afterwards, had lunch in town, went back and got home. I watched some series and now I am going to bed, to get ready for a new exciting day tomorrow!

I am grateful for the things I learned today! I am grateful for the relationships I entertained today and the things I discovered about myself. I really love personal development! It is absolutely amazing!

Have an awesome day! I hope the same for all of us for tomorrow!