9-15 December 2019 – Realignment

This week I really took the time to heal and rest. I got a cold that made sure of that. By the end of the week it managed to mostly clear out though. On Friday I worked 8 hours on the Upwork job – really dedicated myself to that. On Saturday I attended the ToastMasters secret santa party – and it was AMAZING! I had the best time. It was an organized event that was similar to the meetings. It was really great. I will attend next year for sure!

Today I studied CBT for 3 hours, I watched 2 movies, I played, I cooked.

This week I learned to enjoy life more and to give people a chance. I am grateful for the great time I had, for the beautiful heart-warming experiences, for healing and for the wonderful connections.

I wish you a week full of opportunities and achievements!

5 December 2019 – Working Day

Today I worked most day – and I also complained a lot. It seems that since the psychology course last weekend, I do this a lot. It’s so challenging to integrate everything in a short time. I managed to cook a potato-leek soup today – it was average – nothing compared to one I tested years ago.. But it was ok nonetheless.

Today I learned how quickly thoughts slip through our mind – and how difficult it is to catch them and get them back! I swear.. sometimes… just.. I get the most life changing thought and it just disappears in thin air exactly before I give it attention.. Today was a day of personal truths – and I am grateful for that. Also for finding the strength within myself to admit some things I do and getting to spend time with my partner.

Have a creative and motivated Friday!

3 December 2019 – Toasty Day

Today I got officially accepted into ToastMasters. I cooked lunch today and served it with my partner. After attending the ToastMasters meeting, we went at a restaurant and had a nice chat with the group. I worked a bit for the Upwork job and watched some episodes.

Today I learned that I can socialize with a group and respect my boundries and even be confident! I am grateful for the interactions of the day, for the great food and for the work I got done.

Have a productive day full of achievements!

2 December 2019 – The Food Photos Are Back!

Today was like a story – it had a wonderful introduction and conclusion, but a mediocre content overall. I got up and prepared lunch for myself – something that hasn’t happened for a long time. I had a chat with my aunt over Skype while serving coffee. I talked a bit with my partner and then proceeded with work. After 3 hours of work, I somehow got mixed into drama.. after 2 to 3 hours of pointless arguing – expressing my repressed anger and the things that built up and I can no longer ignore, I finally got to an understanding with my partner. I then watched a whole season of some series while eating sweets.. I just couldn’t really stop myself.. I then worked another hour, woke my sister up to encourage her to get to the faculty on time and reviewed the work I did last week and last month. Seems that I worked 153 hours last month! Pretty good I would say.

Today I learned that hanging out with people that have a low energy can really hit me hard and trigger my repressed emotions. I am grateful for the work I did today, for getting to a conclusion in the conversation with my partner and for managing to get myself up. I really loved the beginning of this day and I want many more mornings like this.

I wish you a day of productivity and confidence!

1 December 2019 – Now I Know That I Am

I went to the psychology course today and found out surprizing things about my boundries – about how tiny they are and almost inexisting. I only defend my boundries when I can’t stand the pain anymore, not when the pain starts.. It was interesting to discover this and relate it into my own life – the family life and work. I discovered that I don’t speak up – I let the others find a solution for me, even if I know what the best solution is for myself. As a result of this, I decided to observe myself and say a strong STOP at the point where the pain begins – prevent it from eating me alive! The other thing I learned today is how to integrate myself in a group and make it all homogeneous. I really have that resource in me – I just have to trust it! I went to the woods with my sister and Sheeba afterwards, for a session of grounding and for completely integrating the things I learned the past 3 days. I also got my ToastMasters account today and I managed to choose a path and actually investigate an assignment. I couldn’t decide between ‘Innovative Planning’ and ‘Effective Coaching’, but after some hard thought, I chose based on instinct – the coaching. I spent the night with my sister and partner, chatting and sharing a connection. I am pleased of how things worked out and how wonderful everything was.

Today I learned about my boundries and interpersonal relations. I am grateful for the beliefs that surficed today and for learning the most meaningful word for myself :

Faith

I wish you a day full of faith, a day of total alignment and getting things done.

29 November 2019 – Open Your Heart

Today I attended the psychology course. Afterwards I did some introspection and spent some time with my partner and with my sister. It’s been a long day – productive, but long.

Today I learned a lot about my limits – and I actually felt overwhelmed by the things that are yet to come and my body seems to be unprepared for. I realized that I should start to prepare my body for the journey – things are coming into my life at a very fast pace and I need to prepare my vessel. I am grateful for all the experiences from today and for the clarity I got from everything.

Have a day full of personal truths, a day that lifts you up to new realms you never thought possible before. Enjoy your truth!

23 November 2019 – When you get what you want

Today I got the out-of-body experience I wished for yesterday. I also made some friends and got to connect with people on a different level. I embraced my crazy side more, I updated my relationship with myself in a more profound and understanding manner. I have the feedback I wanted and I see how things unfold for the future – unexpectedly, but surely. It is surprizing to find out for how long I’ve been unconciously working toward a goal! My stability has increased and I decided to get working. I questioned myself for a while though – as I always change the projects I work on – and this time I decided to continue with something I’ve been working at in the very recent past. I continued with the CBT course and did 5 hours of self-reflective exercises + 1 hour of video content. I am surprized of the things that surface from just 2 questions and the impact they have over a person’s life..

What I extracted from the whole experience is that no matter what, I have the courage and the faith that I will get to my destination. I am grateful for the learning process, for my courage, for the experiences I live and people I meet with every day!

I wish you a day of contemplation, of gathering puzzle pieces together and of inspired work!

22 November 2019 – Fear Facing

Today I faced a fear and a big trigger for my anger. I went to a personal development workshop hosted by the company I usually go to. I have built my anger towards them for some months now due to feelings of insufficiency I walked myself into.. I wanted to work with them and that didn’t happen, once more they actually hired a colleague of mine from the psychology course. That somehow devastated me as there is a bit of competition between the two of us (we don’t really know why). It made me feel insignificant, ignored and it really let me down. There were multiple events that built up to this, but eventually all that bottled anger gathered and was ready to explode. Today I dragged myself to the event.. I have been feeling spite towards it for a long while.. and now it finally peaked! I didn’t feel like myself when I got there – I was denying everyone and being spiky towards everything. After a while in the workshop and after talking to some people through exercises, I got reminded why I go to these events, how I feel there. I realized that my motivation was corrupt. I realized that I go there for myself, to know myself better and that maybe we just didn’t align back in the day. I found myself in a forgiving mood and I realized that it was only I that has seen things differently. I am the one that interpreted things that way – and I actually have no proof or idea of how things actually went for that girl. I only know my side of the story based on the little I have seen so far..

Maybe my path goes in a different direction, maybe that is just a platform for me to find the means to follow my own ideas. Maybe I was trying to be someone that wasn’t truly me – maybe due to the enthusiasm I tried something that wasn’t really myself. Maybe I have a different way to go and I just needed to learn from these people how to create my own fuel to use to propel myself into the best version of myself.. I definitely know now that I am enough. I have my own thing going and now I have a plan. I feel more and more guided towards the path that I want and I see my projects building momentum. I am ready to see my dreams become reality – and I get proof of this every day.

Today I learned that even the darkest and most explosive anger/rage can be eliminated with forgiveness. I am grateful for the things I learned today, for the experience, for being open minded and for giving myself the space to do it all.

I wish you an out of body experience that will align you to what you truly are.

20 November 2019 – Work and Rest

Today I went back to the land in the morning. We managed to finish cutting all the weeds today – another 1000 square meters. I didn’t think it was possible to work as much today, but I managed to do it. Today I overcame my expectations – it is a nice feeling to actually do this. I got home afterwards and I took a 5 hour nap. I really needed the sleep after another 7 hours of continuous labor and the little 5 hours of sleep I got last night. It was amazing to see the clean land and realize I had a major part in accomplishing this.

Today I learned that it takes me a while to actually recognize in the real world the things I learn through my courses. If only I tried to make the connection sooner – the interactions would have been different yesterday. But I am still pleased I understood the underlying issue and calmed myself eventually. I really struggled yesterday to break the barriers in communication and be liked. I am grateful that today I applied the theory I learned, that I finished cleaning the land, that I was determined and worked to accomplish what I wanted. I really made things happen.

I wish you a flawless day, full of accomplishments and getting work done!

19 November 2019 – Hard Working Day

Today I woke up early in the morning and made some waffles – an overly gratified pancake (I haven’t searched for the recipe so I still have room to change my opinion). I went to the land and worked from 8 until 16.30. We cleared 1000 square meters.

Afterwards, I rushed home and took a hot shower – went to get some signatures from the neighbours, went in town and bought 2 necklaces, went to the ToastMasters meeting, went shopping, went home and worked 2 hours on the Upwork project. I am beat – I can barely concentrate from the tiredness – and tomorrow there’s still work to be done. Hopefully, my body will be ok in the morning.

Today I learned just how much it helped me to see my father study all sort of things – it ignited curiosity within me. And that really helped me out to investigate and learn all the things I researched until now. I am grateful for the things I learned, for the time spent in flow, for the connection with nature I have felt today, for making it through until the sunset and for still working on!

I wish you a day full of calmness and a good night’s sleep.