22 November 2019 – Fear Facing

Today I faced a fear and a big trigger for my anger. I went to a personal development workshop hosted by the company I usually go to. I have built my anger towards them for some months now due to feelings of insufficiency I walked myself into.. I wanted to work with them and that didn’t happen, once more they actually hired a colleague of mine from the psychology course. That somehow devastated me as there is a bit of competition between the two of us (we don’t really know why). It made me feel insignificant, ignored and it really let me down. There were multiple events that built up to this, but eventually all that bottled anger gathered and was ready to explode. Today I dragged myself to the event.. I have been feeling spite towards it for a long while.. and now it finally peaked! I didn’t feel like myself when I got there – I was denying everyone and being spiky towards everything. After a while in the workshop and after talking to some people through exercises, I got reminded why I go to these events, how I feel there. I realized that my motivation was corrupt. I realized that I go there for myself, to know myself better and that maybe we just didn’t align back in the day. I found myself in a forgiving mood and I realized that it was only I that has seen things differently. I am the one that interpreted things that way – and I actually have no proof or idea of how things actually went for that girl. I only know my side of the story based on the little I have seen so far..

Maybe my path goes in a different direction, maybe that is just a platform for me to find the means to follow my own ideas. Maybe I was trying to be someone that wasn’t truly me – maybe due to the enthusiasm I tried something that wasn’t really myself. Maybe I have a different way to go and I just needed to learn from these people how to create my own fuel to use to propel myself into the best version of myself.. I definitely know now that I am enough. I have my own thing going and now I have a plan. I feel more and more guided towards the path that I want and I see my projects building momentum. I am ready to see my dreams become reality – and I get proof of this every day.

Today I learned that even the darkest and most explosive anger/rage can be eliminated with forgiveness. I am grateful for the things I learned today, for the experience, for being open minded and for giving myself the space to do it all.

I wish you an out of body experience that will align you to what you truly are.

1, 2, 3 – November!

These last 3 days I visited my parents and my extended family. My sister came along and we had the greatest time ever! We really felt amazing and had an intense feeling of inner peace and joy. We were in flow continuously and we really don’t know how time just passed by.

These days I learned that if I feel at peace with myself and decide with all my being that I’m going to be myself – no matter what – I can have the most amazing time of my life. Taking responsibility over myself proves once again to be the right choice. I am grateful for the amazing time I had, for the great connection, for all the interactions and the unconditional love that I gave and received. ❤

Have an amazing week!

14 October 2019 – My Sister Shared Food!

Today I had to take the cat to the vet. I went to bed late in the morning – 5 a.m. and got insufficient sleep. I had to feed the cat and give the treatment so some additional sacrifices had to be made.. eventually I got home and ate some processed meat and some cake. Some days just are like this.. I eventually managed to really wake up in the evening – I started going through the CBT course again and that got me engaged and back into a very positive mood. After my sister and my partner got home, I spent some time with them. My sister cooked today something else than pasta! And she even shared her food with me! I was so proud of her (even if I didn’t tell her) to see she actually took the ropes into her hands and took responsibility over her hunger in the healthy way! We ate together in a hurry and got overwhelmed by the body’s response. I washed the dishes to honor the code (the one that cooks doesn’t clean the dishes) and had a meaningful connection with her. I continued my study afterwards and did some introspection.

Today I learned that progress can be seen in every little step we take. I saw that 30% of good experience is still meaningful progress – sure, we all want it to be over 50% to know the experience can be truly classified as being positive, but 30% can still make an experience be good overall. I guess it all depends on what we choose to focus on and what we compare it with. When I look at a situation outside of the ‘good or bad’ mindset, I can see clearly that I can extract something positive from it – the things I learn in a day make up for everything, even if the emotion I felt in the act brought me pain. In time, you can see past events gaining new meanings, as you grow and change your perspective. I am grateful for all the insights I got today, for the food and for the learning experience overall!

We grow stronger every day!

21 June 2019 – No photo Friday

Today I woke up early and implemented some of the things I learned in the course yesterday. I started exercising first thing after waking up – it was wonderful. I did my homework afterwards and got myself ready for the course from today. These courses I attend last the whole weekend 8.5 hours every day. I basically went to the course afterwards, had lunch in town, went back and got home. I watched some series and now I am going to bed, to get ready for a new exciting day tomorrow!

I am grateful for the things I learned today! I am grateful for the relationships I entertained today and the things I discovered about myself. I really love personal development! It is absolutely amazing!

Have an awesome day! I hope the same for all of us for tomorrow!

11 June 2019 – I think I just got my Cutie Mark!!

I am a huge My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fan. I am not ashamed to say it to the public anymore. Beyond the first rather boring season, where the back stories of the characters is built up, the show is full of extraordinary day to day lessons – not only on the friendship topic. It is an amazing show that holds a special place in my heart! This context leads to something – each one pony has a Cutie Mark – the sign that represents their purpose in life – their truest soul calling that they get once they realize what they are meant to do in their lives.

Today such a moment showed up in my way, through a personal development course I started in the morning, ‘Mastery of your Values’ with John Demartini on Mindvalley. It was really mind-blowing! This managed to put so many pieces of my puzzle together I couldn’t believe it – in just 45 minutes!!! The information was sooo valuable, I thought I spent hours or days of information gathering! So many things just clicked and I finally understood what I am meant to do!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am overwhelmed by enthusiasm and gratitude for the path that has unfolded in my way. I hope this gets to you everypony and you are inspired to shift something to create for yourself a wonderful lifetime!

I spent the day organizing my gathered data, cleaning and taking notes. I rewritten my goals and decided for a direction for my future. I finally know now how to get moving forward. I also met with a random sweet old lady and I helped her out with some chores because of some lost, thirsty goats! (I even managed to boop the nose of one). She talked to me for an hour and a half even if she said she had to watch a TV show. She was so grateful for my help and I felt so fulfilled from the interaction. On my way back home I thought to myself that I finally have a friend I could have coffee with in the neighborhood. I spent some time with my sister afterwards and re-watched the course with my partner, while taking valuable notes.

I hope you manage to find the course somehow, if you are interested. I have faith that this message will get to exactly the people that need it. I value you very much and I am grateful for you. Thank you for being part of my journey!

You are amazing!

9 June 2019 – Extraordinary Day

Today I went through 4 personal development courses, I painted the ceiling for the terrace and had a shower while doing it.. it started raining massively and the roof didn’t cover the sides and I got my clothes really wet from this. I cooked some hummus and served with cucumbers for dinner and had a tomato and spring onion salad for lunch with bread. I also had time to spend with my partner and also watch some series. I was really sleepy after the first course and I am totally amazed I managed to get so far without the nap I wanted and actually do all those activities afterwards!!

— Update —

By the end of the day I managed to go through another course – so that is 5 in total and to finish one of the books I’ve been reading lately.

I hope you had a lovely day!

13 May 2019 – I did this.. It was me..

I woke up from a troubling dream. I decided to continue reading the book and I fell back asleep after some time. I had a horrible dream that really got to me. I had trouble waking up from what felt like a nightmare, but fortunately, 2 messages from my partner did the trick! I read some more, I fell back asleep, I talked to my sister a bit and finished the book! I watched an episode with my partner and then I decided to do a little introspection and possible forgiveness..

I wrote about an old friend that I used to have. I have been upset on her for something for over 9 years now! Finally writing about it, after all this time, I realized she might have probably been as confused as I was. I finally saw that I placed the seed of the troubling situation that came months later.. I am still shocked to see this… I held a grudge for so much time for nothing and I let that experience dictate so many of my actions throughout the years.. Seeing it crumble before my eyes filled me up with regret and the feeling of helplessness..

Today I learned to write down all the events involving the people that upset you and then decide if holding a grudge feels right.

You are a beautiful human being! Be proud of yourself today!

Cycle 5 – Day 14 [Enthusiasm, Emotion, Excitement]

Today I woke up early in the morning to attend a marketing course which eventually proved to be not worth my time (going to bed at 1:30 am to wake up at 5:30 am). I am not sure if the disappointment was also from the lack of sleep or the poor content – I guess it was both. I attended two more, later in the day, that gave me valuable information on topics I wasn’t that familiar about.

I got my packages today – I bought 6 books and the dog food finally got here (one week later). I managed to read one of those which had ‘stories for the soul’ and which triggered profound emotional reactions within me. I am glad I finished reading it because I couldn’t go through more of those.. some of them really messed up with me, but the curiosity was too great not to finish the book.

I took two hours for a nap as I was feeling a bit too tired. I woke up and told my partner about all the things I did and presented to him the information I learned at the courses as I thought it to be very valuable. I got excited again and decided to actually do something about it. I started identifying the people I am writing for and created a survey that could help me see how many people actually fit in my expected category. I am very excited to send it out and actually see the results!!!

I prepared the fanciest lunch today and I am so proud of it. It was very tasty and filling.

Have a wonderful day!

Cycle 5 – Day 3 [Energy, Retrospective, Equilibrium]

Today I woke up feeling energized; feeling that I could do anything. I chose to call my sister and share with her some of this energy I felt. We hanged out together, drank a cup of coffee, listened to some old songs and cooked together. I served breakfast with my partner and afterwards we got talking.

We spent some time watching an animation and reading a chapter of a book. We then made a retrospective of our relationship and clarified to each other the stages we’ve gone through and what was our reasoning at certain moments. This helped us understand each other better and tell some things that were never said before. It generally gave me inner peace and the sensation of equilibrium. We cooked and ate together and then I went to bed.

Overall today was a good day for me; I determined what I want to do next and I also seem to have the energy gathered for my new plans.

Have a great day!

Cycle 5 – Day 1 [Empowerment, Redefinition, Positiveness]

It’s been a while since I wrote about my day.. It is nice to know and see that I got things back together and that I take care of myself again.

I spent the day reflecting on the last 2 weeks and understanding the impact of the events that happened in my life lately. It made me feel empowered to know that I have control over how I react in some stressful situations and that I don’t feel like a victim anymore. I had a lot of realizations lately that clearly changed my way of viewing life generally. I felt the need of changing my attire, to better fit my attitude towards life and to make me feel more confident towards the changes I allow into my life.

I am feeling positive towards the changes I am making. I want to ease back into healthy eating, by alternating meals, to avoid shocking my body. I weighed myself yesterday and I had 88.8 kg (195.7 lbs) – this is not the heaviest I’ve been since I had this break, which also increases my positiveness considering I already started changing.

I decided to change the format of the posts – write more about how I felt in a day rather than what I did. This would probably give me a better vision over my general mental health.

I hope you had a good day.